Shitness.

I'm trying to not be negative in life so instead of saying "i have had a pathetic day today", let me just say "i had an ambiguously interesting day today."

Anyhoo, I met three ladies from office over coffee. It was as i had expected it to be; and my later reactions were also pretty damn predictable. However, i don't want to think/write/talk about that - partly because i'm gonna be doing just that for a long long time after some time but mostly because i've had enough of recounting it--first for my dear dear friend and then for my dearest boyfriend. I need a break so have decided to talk about other things. Random things that are bothering me more than this prospective job that's leaving no stone unturned to become the sole center of my life.

Something annoying to the point of sickening happened in class today. It was, of course, my own undoing as is everything else that affects me this profoundly. This teacher was talking about Indian culture, and what defines, forms it. Now, this is one class i usually focus all my energies on not hearing a word the teacher says, because when i do listen to her, it makes me angry.

Our mutual dislike is not hidden from anyone, though i've not done anything concrete to make it obvious and bring it out in the open, yet. That is, of course, if you don't count my not adding her on facebook, sleeping through her class, never carrying a textbook or taking notes(i'm practically a steno in some classes, so unusual behaviour for the nerd that's me), having a standard insouciant expression on my face and hiding behind someone, anyone to avoid seeing her face, which by the way, bugs me no end.

Anyway, I make sure i don't participate in her classes but it's only human to err, right? I did open my gob today and said i think it's unfair to exclude the upper middle class and high-brow, elite culture when one talks of "Indian culture". It's at best, buying into into the Oriental philosophy to posit the country on rickshaws and the people below poverty line as the "real India".

If i am rich, have a BMW, go to IHC, drink, smoke, work and be promiscuous, I do not cease to be Indian or become any "less Indian" than a tribal woman whom she called "closer to indian soil, quite literally." I get where that's coming from...because the tribe's experience is unadulterated and "untarnished" by global exposure, she's arguably "more" Indian; a representative of the true, Incredible India.

Even as this makes some sense, there is one slightly different position, which i know will find few takers (or none, except yours truly!) within the red walls of this college. I think culture, in general, and Indian culture, specifically, is about integration and assimilation of other cultures. Just because it's a new trend or a minority, there's no reason why it should be discredited  orcriticised for being "foreign" to Indian soil and culture. Call me unconventional, but i think being rich and flaunting it is a manifestation of one's attitude to life and money... Owning an audi, loving ballet and preferring Jeffery Dean Morgan to SRK won't make me any less Indian or my practices any alien to the culture. Last i checked, we were about accepting and learning and i'm sorry but i refuse to be a hardheaded prick.

P.S. Talked to Wasim Akram yesterday and wrote his piece for him, that has found its way to the first sports page of TOI. In an unrelated story, HT screwed my column real bad. The grammar has gone for a six and the editing makes it look like a paragraph made out of five bullet points, minus the bullets. It's essentially a barrage of just, well, points. Most irritating. Besides, i didn't get my copy, again! I'm almost glad i'm bidding farewell to Journalism in no time. I just lied. O:)

Rocks and Pebbles,
Hobbes!

Girlfriends.

There was a time i thought girls make for horrible friends because they just. can't. keep. a. secret. That was nine years ago and then i met my best friend. The rest, as they say, is history. I started rethinking my judgement of my own sex and gave them a second chance. Only to wind up thinking what i knew nine years back as a tween.

I'm not going to go into how this renewed realisation makes me feel about myself and my judging skills. I've instead been thinking, what is it that makes for a good friend? Here's my check list, or what used to be one:

1. You're comfortable with each other.
2. They stand by you, always. No matter what.
3. They tell you what's wrong with you, in a way that won't hurt you too much. Constructive criticism peppered with a lot of praises, because it's heartbreaking to have a friend, who knows you inside out, think you're a lost case.
4. They can deal woth your mood swings, and you can deal with theirs.
5. They're trustworthy.
6. They can keep a secret.

I've been discovering the dynamics that go behind the last bit and it has not been a pleasant experience. Is she still my friend if she told her friend my secret, because she, perhaps, felt closer to her? If she let the cat out of the bag because she sucks at keeping her gob shut, and that's just how she is, take it or leave it?
It doesn't mean she (they) likes me any less, or doesn't care for me...i know she does, i know all of them do. I have my only good memories of college with them and it's inconceivable that we could have had such great times together if there was no mutual love and happy feelings.

Clearly, i have a lot to figure out and learn even in matters of friendship.