Of desires and dreams

We all want something; some things more than other things, but we want and we yearn. Some say it's our desire that keeps us going in this meaningless world; once you lose the desire to possess, to accomplish, to be - you lose the drive to live.

This funda makes more sense to an athiest existentialist like me than anything else i've come across. I know that everything i do is a step closer to realizing a dream, an ambition. I may not know it then, but i've seen enough to figure out the ways of my unconscious. In hindsight, it all fit perfectly, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Be it my decision to change my school when i did or going to college where i did, or falling in love with the man i did fall in love with.

One can, of course, attribute all these "events" to God. I know because i once did it, but then where's the fun in that? Thinking that everything i do isn't actually being done by me, and that i am but a toy going through the motions pre-set by God, didn't do any good to my self esteem. Seriously, what is the fun in believing that the calculated risks you took after weeks of sleepless nights were meant to be taken by you anyway, and there was no escaping it because God decided it had to be that way and no other way.

I figured the cool thing about belief is that you can believe anything you want. And from the way i see it, we don't need to have excellent, flawless logical backing for believing something, anything. As long as we let others believe whatever in hell they want to believe in, we are free to do the same.

I chose to believe that I consciously make some decisions, most are taken by my unconscious/subconscious for me. All the small and big decisions in life set us on a course that we choose or make for ourselves, and our dreams, desires, yearnings and wishes play a big part in deciding what the course will be.

Our dreams and desires make us what we are, because they decide what we do-with ourselves, and to others.