Girlfriends.

There was a time i thought girls make for horrible friends because they just. can't. keep. a. secret. That was nine years ago and then i met my best friend. The rest, as they say, is history. I started rethinking my judgement of my own sex and gave them a second chance. Only to wind up thinking what i knew nine years back as a tween.

I'm not going to go into how this renewed realisation makes me feel about myself and my judging skills. I've instead been thinking, what is it that makes for a good friend? Here's my check list, or what used to be one:

1. You're comfortable with each other.
2. They stand by you, always. No matter what.
3. They tell you what's wrong with you, in a way that won't hurt you too much. Constructive criticism peppered with a lot of praises, because it's heartbreaking to have a friend, who knows you inside out, think you're a lost case.
4. They can deal woth your mood swings, and you can deal with theirs.
5. They're trustworthy.
6. They can keep a secret.

I've been discovering the dynamics that go behind the last bit and it has not been a pleasant experience. Is she still my friend if she told her friend my secret, because she, perhaps, felt closer to her? If she let the cat out of the bag because she sucks at keeping her gob shut, and that's just how she is, take it or leave it?
It doesn't mean she (they) likes me any less, or doesn't care for me...i know she does, i know all of them do. I have my only good memories of college with them and it's inconceivable that we could have had such great times together if there was no mutual love and happy feelings.

Clearly, i have a lot to figure out and learn even in matters of friendship.